The Final FunFiction
by PurpleRose15
Summary: A hugely popular Mario fansite goes defunct, leaving the Koopalings in despair. They all gather to share memories of the times they spent there together. My cheesy little tribute to the Lemmy's Land website. It will make more sense if you have visited the site.
1. Heads up

This story will make a lot more sense if you were a visitor of the former Mario/Koopaling fansite, Lemmy's Land. Character personalities are true to the ones depicted on that site. For example, Morton talks a lot, Roy is tough, etc. Also, all "tourists" (users) to the site that I mention are real. If some former tourist just so happens to be a part of the fandom, is browsing this part of the site, and isn't happy about their being used, they may simply send me a PM. I will then remove them. Additionally, there are mentions of site features, such as Fun Fiction, Roy's Sports Hall, etc. that you will know about if you have visited the site and may not know of otherwise. Hopefully, these are put into context well enough anyway.

Still, if you're feeling nostalgic (granted, Mario isn't what it used to be), you're still welcome to check out this story. It won't be completely indecipherable to the non-Lemmy's Land goer.

As some of you might know from my former updates, I believed the site to be defunct just before writing this. That was not the case; it was a site error. However, as of now parts are beginning to disappear. The database is no longer functioning. Thus, features like Funnies, Drawing Board, Art Gallery, and more are no longer available. Areas like Forums, Leaders, White Ice Castle Gym, and others haven't been around for years. The website is as good as dead and I feel that a tribute is appropriate. However, if you go to Roy's Sports Hall, you shall notice an interesting blog that a friend of Lemmy's put up for discussion...people are still visiting the site and commenting, but you need to use your credentials if you can remember them. Thankfully, the site has, in fact, been archived I believe by a friend of Lemmy's, so hopefully it will sit for years to come. As a kid I knew that a site couldn't last forever; I always harbored hopes of it being archived. Maybe, just maybe, my dream has come true?

Pardon the text appearance. When I republished it, everything came up HTML and I was forced to go back and delete lots of it. I will make it more readable soon.

Thank you to Lemmy's Land for all the good times. This is dedicated to all of those...Lemmy himself, tourists, and even the Koopalings themselves, that made childhood awesome.


	2. Chapter 1

"Wake up, Lemmy! Today is my birthday and you are NOT going to be late to the party!"

Lemmy groaned as his sister Wendy's shouts echoed in his ear. She was so bratty, but Lemmy knew he'd better show up at the party or he'd be in for it later. But there was also the matter of Lemmy's Land. Today was Saturday, meaning that all the updates had to be completed by the end of the day or else his tourists would be upset. Hmm,he thought, would I rather deal with an angry tourist mob or an angry Wendy?

He slowly got up out of bed, when he felt something roll off his back. He turned around to see his shell laying there. It had happened. Lemmy was now an adult Koopa."He stood there in shock for a moment, until the word came. "IGGY!"

His little brother came rushing into the room. "What's up, bro…oh, no!" He started at Lemmy's green shell.

"Well, guess I'm a grown-up Koopa now, Iggy," Lemmy muttered. to his twin.

"So, what are you going to do now?" asked Iggy. "You know, if Nintendo has their way, we'll never age in the games. Have you seen us in Mario Kart 8? We're still kids!"

"Tell that to Ludwig," said Lemmy. Ludwig was the oldest Koopaling, now living in a castle of his own in Pipe Land, the land that he controlled. He certainly wasn't a kid anymore.

He had all sorts of responsibilities to attend to now. Since he was an adult, Ice Land would require much more attention. He had to be sure that the economy kept growing, or else his land might be at stake. With the becoming of an adult, he would probably also be expected to help out Bowser around the castle more.

"Oh, well, who cares?" asked Iggy. "Today is all about fun! So, when are you going to update Lemmy's Land, huh? I want that new game in my casino, remember?"

Lemmy let out a long, hard sigh. He had posted a message to his tourists not too long ago about how his enthusiasm for the site had diminished and that he might not be updating as frequently anymore. Rest assured, he had said, the site would still be around for a long time to come. But now he wasn't so sure. He couldn't find a group of his Boom-Booms willing to upkeep it, as they had duties of their own, guarding the Ice Land fortresses. And he didn't have nearly as much time to edit tourist submissions, much less maintain one of the biggest Mario websites of all time.

"That's the thing, Iggy," he said. "I don't know if I can sustain Lemmy's Land anymore. I need to focus on my real land…Ice Land."

Iggy gasped. "What? No Lemmy's Land! But Lem, that's been around since, like, 1998 or something! We can't get rid of it now!"

"Well, that's the problem. It has been around since the 90s, and it's 2015 now. We're not little kids anymore, Iggy." He sighed, for he had to admit that he would miss Lemmy's Land, too. "I can't be spending so much gold to upkeep the site, though. I mean, nobody goes on it anymore. All my most famous tourists are gone. Crazy Packers Fan? Latisha Banks? Fried the hen? Everyone's gone, and not just the famous Super Koopas either."

"Iggy sighed. Lemmy was showing a lot of maturity, something he didn't always have a lot of before his shell fell off, unless he was running Ice Land. But there was something else that scared him even more. His brother was right.

"But…what about the Fun Fiction? What about the quizzes and mysteries? AND WHERE AM I GOING TO READ MY MARIO COMICS NOW?" He looked on the verge of tears.

"Oh, calm down, Iggy. I've saved all the files to my computer so we can enjoy them later on. After all, we're Koopalings and we have the right to enjoy our stuff. But this will mark the end of an era for our fans on Earth."

Iggy thought a moment. "Oh, ok! It's still kinda sad, though, don't you think? I mean, we had a lot of good times on that site." Then a devilish grin appeared on his face. "So you're stealing stuff from Earth tourists and keeping it on your own computer? That's amazing! I'm sure we can create some type of plan with that, like, for world domination or something!"

Lemmy shook his head. "I don't think so, little brother. It's mostly for the sake of using it as a memento. My site was one of the greatest technological inventions on the planet Plit. Though on the other hand, maybe it would be great to rub in Ludwig's face sometime, that his little brother was responsible for it and not him."

"We had some great times, didn't we?"

"Oh, sure. Like when we argued in that Fun Fiction by Mario Kid?"

Iggy chuckled. He remembered, all right.

 _"How could you do this to me?" shouted Iggy, as a fake pie blew up in his face. It had been sitting in a present, supposedly from Lemmy, outside his door. The other Koopalings watched in horror- they had put a nice gift in that box, and they had no idea how it had been replaced. Mario, on the other hand, let out a chuckle as he climbed out of a tower about the Koopalings' hallway. "Jerk face!"  
_  
 _"I didn't do it, you moron!"_

 _"Four-eyes!"_

 _"Weirdo!"_

 _The fight continued despite Ludwig's efforts to keep the peace. Finally, it culminated in a war, with their Ice Land and Giant Land troops all ready for battle. By the end, they had destroyed Bowser's front yard, but it had attracted Bowser's attention, who had gone outside and reminded the twins of how much they loved each other by bringing up their earliest memories together. So they still fought on occasion, but they were always best brothers forever._

"Waaahh! I can't believe Lemmy's Land is gone!" cried Iggy, despite himself. "I miss those days!"

"Don't worry," Lemmy reassured his brother. "We'll still live together, and be best brothers, and be friends, and even go to birthday parties. I just don't feel up to running a site anymore. It's not THAT much of a change."

"You miss fighting?"

Suddenly, a loud crash was heard from down the hall. Both Koopalings looked up in alarm, and saw Roy barge in. He had heard Iggy's cries and was none too happy about the news.

"Alright, you two!" said Roy angrily. "I destroyed yet another Xbox because of you, and I was winning my fight! You'd better tell me that Lemmy's Land is going to be around for a long time, or I'll pummel ya!" He made a fist and swung it around threatingly. "Remember, Lemmy? I have a battle ready for publication today!"

Lemmy thought. How could he disappoint Roy, or most importantly, avoid a brawl? "Oh, right." He was actually kind of looking forward to the battle write-up between Paper Mario and Dry Bowser. "I'm…I'm sorry, Roy. The monthly gold for the website is due today and I…I just can't afford it, and I don't have the time. Why don't you post it at the Koopa Forum, instead? It'll get more visitors there, especially since it's a shopping center and not a website."

"Oh, that's even better! Thanks! I didn't even need your stupid site to begin with!" Then, his tone softened. "Is it true that you're deleting Lemmy's Land?"  
Lemmy nodded solemnly.

"Rats. That's a bummer. My sports zone was a lot of fun."

 _It was early on a July Saturday and Roy was finishing his battle write-up. He pushed his figurines of Mario and Luigi across a table. "And…take that!" he yelled in an Italian accent, imagining that Mario had punched out Luigi. "And that concludes another riveting fight," he said, satisfied. "They don't even need to know it wasn't real." He scribbled some words down on a piece of paper and began turning them into a script that recalled each moment of the fight._

 _"Hey, Roy. King Dad is calling you to go to the dungeon or something. I think you'd better-"_

 _"Get out before I punch you, Iggy!" said Roy. Clearly he had the fighting still on his mind. "Hey…look at you. You ARE the perfect punching bag. Soft, small, and not quick enough to get away." And sure enough, before Iggy could escape, Roy punched him and knocked him out cold. "Heh heh! Silly little brother," Roy muttered, going back to his battle write-up._

 _And that's how Iggy was doomed to forever become Roy's punching bag._

"Hey, what's all this about Lemmy's Land closing?"

Lemmy looked up to see someone standing in the doorway. "Ludwig!" He ran to give his brother a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I've just arrived for Wendy's party. Couldn't miss it!" He paused. "So, what's going on with Lemmy's Land again?"

"It's closing. I'm an adult now, and need to ascend to those responsibilities, you know?" He pointed to his missing shell. Ludwig nodded.

"Wow. Congratulations," he said, shaking Lemmy's hand. He sighed. "I had a lot of great times on that site."

 _Ludwig was thumbing through a game manual, looking for quiz questions. "The answer to six is 'red,''' he said to himself, double-checking an answer to a quiz question a tourist had submitted._

 _"Hey, Ludwig! Whatcha doin?" It was Lemmy, probably checking in with Ludwig's progress._

 _Ludwig sighed. "People don't want to answer Quizzies anymore," he said. "I try and try, but my intelligence is still too much for their sub-average minds."_

 _Lemmy shrugged. "Can you write a new section, then?"_

 _"I already had several sections on this site. And they all fail! Nobody liked my journal either, because nobody could understand me!" He dramatically slammed his head onto the keyboard._

 _"Sorry to hear," said Lemmy. "But you know, you are currently the third most popular of us on Lemmy's Leaders. Keep it up and you just might become number two."_  
 _"Number two?"_

 _"There's no getting past me," Lemmy said, matter-of-factly. Well, it was true._

 _So Ludwig waited until his siblings went to bed, than hacked into Lemmy's computer. He began awarding random Koopaling votes to tourists who needed them, put Wendy into sixth place (something other than last for once), put himself into first, and added a bunch of not-yet-released arcade games. He then replaced the Welcome banner on Lemmy's homepage with a drawing of himself that said, "VOTE FOR LUDWIG."_

 _Lemmy didn't know how to get back into his website. "Ludwig! How could you?"_

 _Ludwig simply looked smug. "Sorry, but fair's fair. I'll only give your website back if you agree to put me in first place for the rest of your website's existence."_

 _At that moment, helicopters began descending over Koopa Castle. "This is the Koopatrol," said a Koopa, stepping out. "Will Ludwig von Koopa please come out with his claws up. You are being arrested on charges of piracy."_

 _Ludwig gulped. Lemmy smiled._

 _Two months in the dungeon later, it seemed like Lemmy had control of his site again._

"You weren't exactly well behaved though, were you?" Lemmy glared at Ludwig.

"Hey, Lemmy, King Dad asked that...what are you all doing?" Larry had showed up as well.

"Larry, it's an unfortunate moment in Koopa history, but…" Lemmy began.

"Lemmy's Land is now closing," finished Iggy.

"If it makes you feel any better," Lemmy began, "I've saved all the files, as a keepsake. But our friends on Earth won't see the site anymore, and neither will we. The Mario franchise community just isn't happening anymore, and I need to give more time to expanding Ice Land."

"Aw, man! How am I going to get Koopaling votes now?"

"I don't know. You have an allowance, right?"

Larry sighed. He did have one, but Koopaling votes were better, he thought.

 _Finally, Larry thought, my Scribble is finished! He had just written what he thought to be a masterpiece about Mario becoming the Cheese Man. Now, all that was left to do was submit it. He attached it in an email and sent it off. He sent it on a Friday evening, so it could be updated to the site as quickly as possible._

 _The next day, he was playing Mario Kart DS when he heard the familiar "ding" from his computer. Larry eagerly ran for his email and saw one from Lemmy. It read:_  
 _"Congratulations. Your Scribble has been published and you have been awarded one Koopaling vote. You now have 25 Koopaling votes."_

 _…so did that mean…_

 _"YAHOO!" Larry cheered, jumping up from his chair. "I'm a Super Koopa! I'm big! I'm powerful! I'm famous! Grass Land will become the most famous of all the lands! Finally!"_

 _But as he checked the Super Koopa page, he saw that some members had over 1,000 Koopaling votes. He may be a Super Koopa, but he would never catch up to Fried the Hen. Would poor Larry ever get the attention he wanted?_

 _"Well, I'd better get to work," he said. So he took out a piece of paper and started drawing stuff for the Art Gallery. By the end of the day, he had 100 terrible pictures of things from the Mario universe. One included a tiny Goomba that looked more like a circle with eyes…probably because it was a circle with eyes._

_Slowly he began to scan each one and sent them all in an email._

 _"Larry! Dinner!" Bowser called. He scampered away from his work._

 _Lemmy was seething at the dinner table. "You know what happened to me today? Some stupid tourist crashed my computer with 100 Art Gallery submissions. Ludwig is going to be fixing it for weeks now. Sometimes I hate running a website!"_

 _Larry's face burned as he tried to hide himself from view._

"I'm sorry, Larry. You were awfully eager for those Koopaling votes, weren't you? I'm pretty sure you were the one that made me enact rules about the quality of a submission."

Larry turned red. "Heh, yup. Sorry, bro."

"My brothers, my brethren, my familial comrades, how's it going, what's up, what's the 411-"

"Shut up, Morton," Lemmy muttered. "Let me guess. You heard about Lemmy's Land and want to express your condolences."

"No, but King Dad wanted me to tell you that it was almost time for Wendy's-what about Lemmy's Land?" It was the first time in weeks that Morton had actually finished a sentence without being cut off.

"It's dying today," said Ludwig.

"What? Don't the tourists need to know about my facts about the Mario universe? And they're going to be gone? And what about the reviews, are those going away too? I need to know if I should buy Super Mario Sunshine or not and I can't decide without a tourist review-"

"Well, the time has come now," said Lemmy sadly. "I'm an adult Koopa now and-"

"Whoa! Look at your shell! You're not a Koopaling anymore! You're a Koopa, which is a good, brilliant, excellent thing except for maybe you can't be a kid and do fun kid things anymore like Lemmy's Land for example or even video games-"

"Right on," Lemmy muttered.

Morton was quiet again. Everyone stared. "What?" he asked.

 _Lemmy Koopa had just opened his forums to the public. "Aha," he said, "now all my tourists can have a place to talk about Mario and the Koopalings with each other._  
 _As soon as he did so, an account was opened. "Huh," though Lemmy, "that was awfully quick. I hope it's not a spammer."_

 _The member posted a new post. "Hello! I am MKJR567, and I love love love to talk! We can talk about Mario or cheese or even me and we can talk all the day long! I will start many topics and become king of the forums! Ha ha ha!_

 _"Definitely a spammer," muttered Lemmy. "Morton Koopa Junior 567, your time as a member is now up."_

 _And he deleted his brother's account. Morton didn't shut up about it for the next week._

Everyone gathered around the computer as Lemmy logged into his account and prepared to delete his files. It was almost complete silence as everyone reminisced about what was about to become lost. Lemmy's journal, where he shared all the aspects of Koopa life. Lemmy's Funnies, where tourists submitted sprite comics. Lemmy's Scribbles, where stories of not-so-epic proportions were written. Lemmy's Art Gallery, It was tough, but everyone knew that it had to be done eventually. Websites didn't stay around forever.

"WAAHHH! MY PARTY'S STARTING IN A HALF HOUR AND NOBODY'S SHOWN UP YET! WAAAHH!"

"Wendy," everyone muttered in unison.

"Wendy, get up here a moment!" Ludwig called.

"What are you doing?" Lemmy hissed.

"It's not fair for her to miss it," Ludwig reasoned. "She had the popular phonebooth column, after all."

"Yeah, but she was always the least popular Koopaling in Lemmy's Leaders," said Iggy. "Nobody will miss her."

"You know, Ludwig's right," Lemmy stated. "She had a part in the site, too, and answering all those questions from nosy tourists week after week couldn't have been easy."

Wendy clomped up the stairs. "WHAT?"

"Wendy," said Lemmy, "Lemmy's Land is being deleted. Forever. We just…we just wanted to know if you wanted to say goodbye."

Wendy crossed her arms. "Why should I say goodbye to a dumb website?"

"How about…because it was where you first realized you liked me?"

 _In the land of Lemmy's Scribbles, a new story had just been published by a tourist by the name of Jon._

 _Wendy was sitting at the dinner table when one of Lemmy's hairs fell onto her plate. She couldn't decide whether or not to tell him, so instead, she let out a giggle. Lemmy stared at her, and Wendy blushed._

 _She knew she definitely liked him by then, so she came up with the idea. She approached his door and knocked, asking for extra ball riding lessons. He agreed, making Wendy squeal and run back to her room in excitement. And that's when Lemmy knew._

"Oh, that was bogus and you know it!" Wendy yelled, her face glowing red.

"That's what they all say," Lemmy said, grinning. Wendy growled. Not wanting to make her even angrier (he'd been there, and it was not pleasant), he decided to move on.  
"Well, let's get this over with," said Lemmy. He wasn't sure, but he even thought he saw a tear drip down Wendy's cheek.

The gray button appeared, and Lemmy clicked it. A message popped up:

Are you sure you want to delete "Lemmy's Land" and all the content associated with it? Deleted sites cannot be recovered.

Lemmy's cursor moved over the "OK" button, and he clicked.

"WAIT! NO! NOT YET! I-"

Everyone looked at Iggy in shock.

"Sorry. Just trying to be dramatic."

Thank goodness he was kidding, because it was too late.

"Goodbye, Lemmy's Land!" said Ludwig.

"Fifteen years of content, down the pits," said Roy.

"I'm going to dedicate my birthday party to Lemmy and his land," said Wendy.

Everyone looked at her in surprise. "When my siblings act this out of character, I _know_ I've just deleted my website."

Everyone stood there for a moment, then wrapped into a group hug.

"Okay, everyone, it's-whoa, what's going on here?" Bowser nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw all his kids hugging.

"Lemmy's Land is gone, King Dad!" cried Iggy!

"Never to return! Forgotten!" added Morton.

"Um…well…I'm still not sure what's going on…" Bowser began, "but it's time for Wendy's party. Is everyone ready?"

And so everyone headed down for an epic celebration. The site may be gone, but the Koopas were still together, and that was all that mattered. But Lemmy as an adult Koopa was about to develop Ice Land into a land of epic proportions, and as an adult, he would have power never before heard of. And he looked forward to whatever the future held, but right now, it was time to party.


	3. Epilogue

A shadowy, dark brown figure loomed in Lemmy's doorway.

He'd heard rumors earlier, and he hoped beyond belief that they were not true.

Slowly, he crept into Lemmy's room, slowly but surely, for what Lemmy would say if he had been caught made him shudder.

Boom Boom had always been Lemmy's most trusted second-in-command…far beyond his siblings, who had proven they would just ruin Lemmy's Land if it were left to them. And now it was his duty to save his site. Lemmy's site. It was his duty to protect it, as it always had been before if Lemmy was sick or in an emergency Ice Land meeting.

He crept to Lemmy's computer and noticed a floppy disk sticking out. Pushing it back in the slot, he pressed a couple of buttons to reveal all the HTML documents left over.

So it was false. Lemmy's Land was still here. Despite the hugs and shouts coming from this room earlier, the evidence was still here.

And he was determined to keep it going.

 **00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

"I don't know," Iggy began as he put down his Wiimote. "I still think that Larry's appearance in Mario Kart 8 is a bit off putting."

"True," agreed Lemmy. "What's up with that hair, anyway?"

Although Lemmy was technically an adult, he was still a Koopaling by the All-Holy Creator Nintendo's standards. That meant there was still plenty of time for play and leisure, but more of it could be spent with his siblings instead of on a screen.

"Oh, Lemmy…." Wendy stood at the front of her room, putting on her best sweet-talk voice. "I was wondering…will you post just three questions for me about Lemmy's Land? If you do, I'll be sure not to pummel you when I become Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom…"

"That reminds me!" said Roy, smacking his forehead! "I almost forgot to give you my battle writeup!"

Larry ran into the room. "I need to put in a bio of my pet horse! I just got him from King Dad and-" He paused. "Is that _my_ hair?"

"So what do you say, big brother?" Wendy asked, batting her eyelashes.

They all looked at Lemmy with eager eyes, hoping he'd do the thing to the site they clearly forgotten had been gone. It was a part of their lives. Why shouldn't they forget?

Lemmy sighed. "I'm sorry, guys, but don't you remember?"

As if on cue, Morton rushed in. "Hey guys, check it out, it's great, fabulous, unique, all new! As someone who loves to talk and talk and talk and gossip and blab this is great, stellar.."

"SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT!" everyone yelled.

Morton took out his tablet. "Lemmy's Land! Here! Now! Discussion!" He handed it to his siblings as he tried to catch his breath.

Everyone gathered around. There it was: Lemmy's Land on the internet once again, everything restored but the Database. However, as Morton proceeded to show them, if you wanted to see art by a tourist, you could simply Google their name.

Lemmy pushed a tab on the screen to reveal something new. "That's peculiar…a new forum?" This forum was devoted to someone who obviously knew Lemmy. An entire portion of the forum

"See, bro? What were you thinking?" said Iggy with eager eyes. "Lemmy's Land is immortal. Nobody's getting rid of it. Besides, you clearly have a super fan somewhere."

Everyone stood quietly. Lemmy scratched his head.

"Okay. Fine. Lemmy's Land is up. But I'm _not_ updating. Or sending messages to anyone. Or posting battle write ups. It'll just give people hope and I'll be sucked in before I know it." Roy looked angry, then his expression softened. Lemmy had never seen Roy sad before.

 _Maybe that site means more to them then I counted on._

"Do ya think I can still add it to the fan forum?" he asked.

"Probably," Lemmy shrugged. "Just be careful what you post. This could be a plot by the Marios."

"I doubt it, don't think do, am unsure," Morton chimed in. "There are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, I can't count that high, topics all about how much you are loved, respected, missed, and admired!"

Lemmy looked again. Morton seemed to be right.

"All right, Roy. I'm sure you can post your battle. Just let them know that the official sports hall will be closed."

"YEAH!" He punched the air and ran off. At least he would have, if he didn't run smack into Boom Boom watching them from the kitchen.

"Boom Boom?" asked Lemmy. "What are you doing here?"

Boom Boom stared, then shrugged and ran off.

"Huh. That was strange."

 **000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Boom Boom scuttled back his fortress in delight. With Lemmy's Land safe and sound, all was right with the world.

He opened his forum and began a new discussion. With luck, the site, and its visitors, would be around for a long time to come.

 **Thank you for reading, guys. As a matter of fact, the site IS still up, and Lemmy's Land tourists are still there on a separate forum to talk about it! It's called Last Life Forum and it's pretty cool stuff if you were a former tourist, or even a new one. Thus, I decided to post this epilogue. It didn't seem right to kill Lemmy's Land when it's still being viewed and talked about.**

 **And yes, Larry's hair does look weird in MK8.**


End file.
